Someone once told me that a pastor is the only person who has two hundred bosses. That is...if you serve a church with two hundred members. The larger the church, the more 'bosses' you have. Of course I chuckled at that. It isn't nearly that bad, but one of the pressures of being of pastor is a sense that you have different sets of expectations that aren't always compatible, thus the idea of multiple bosses.

In the previous article I listed the expectations the Discipline has. They are varied and many. Yet, there are times when the district has their own set of expectations (that are usually backed up in the Discipline) as does the conference. There are also expectations coming from your church, your community, your family and even yourself. Over and beyond that we have a sense that God has expectations too. So, what is a pastor to do? Who trumps whom? Should we always meet expectations coming from our church, or should it always be the district/conference? Or maybe our family? Where do our own expectations formed in prayer, silence and spiritual practices come into play?

I was reading Looking for Jesus by Adrian van Kaam and stumbled upon this wonderful passage:

Clearly, there is no greater thing we can do than to be faithful to the work of God in the most simple events of our daily life. we must do the common work of every day in an uncommon way-doing this work in loving union with Jesus. It may sometimes seem easier to do great things than to do small ones. The grandeur of an enterprise, the excitement of a splendid project, the interest of others carries us forward. Their admiration sustains us in such moments more than Jesus' grace. We act, then, not because of him but because we feel successful, important, liked, needed. We become spellbound by praise, so much so that we no longer hear his voice in the depth of our hearts. Bewitched by the projects of people, we become estranged from the Father's work. Spoiled by success, we may become alienated from him. - pg 102.

Wow. I believe he nailed it. I find it is easy to get off track of following God's will because the pull of the 'grand plan' is so strong. Instead of being faithful to what God has called me to, I run off following my own dreams and visions. I'm not sure it is a problem just with me. How many of our plans are really of God?

Early in his ministry Jesus had to face these same temptations. Satan took him aside and started suggesting how he could make a grand statement by changing stone to bread, leaping off the temple, or even worshiping Satan himself! Perhaps Jesus knew that God calls us to be faithful, and at times that faithfulness is shown in the small matters and not necessarily in grand expressions.

Maybe it is time for me to put my dreams and my visions on hold and allow Jesus to live through me, even if that requires simple dreams and visions. As van Kaam writes, success can spoil our relationship with God and even alienate us from him.